Boost your child’s confidence with this one simple word. Learn how it shifts mindsets, fosters resilience, and promotes growth. Start empowering your child today!
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There’s nothing as deflating as watching your child bomb!
As parents, we’ve all been there in some shape or form. Whether it’s the wannabe footballer who can’t score a goal, or the struggling child who can’t grasp the school work. Maybe it’s the aspiring actor who wasn’t picked for the school play, or the wee one who loves drawing but whose artwork was deemed “too unique” for the precious parents’ day display board (come on!).
It’s painful to see their disappointment. And often we feel helpless to reassure them as they pour out their heart, saying things like, “I’m no good,” or “I can’t do this.”
If only there was just one word that could reverse all that pain and discouragement and improve the whole situation! If only there was just one word that could boost your child’s confidence.
Well, it turns out, there is…
It’s a really small word (just three letters) but it has superpowers.
Wondering what it is?
Enter: “yet.”
Say whaaat! Perhaps you’re wondering how such a small word can have superpowers? Let me explain…
The power of ‘yet’
Yes! You read me right – the word is “yet,” and research shows, it holds incredible power.
Defined in the Collins Dictionary as a conjunction meaning “nevertheless,” or “still,” you could be forgiven for wondering why this little word could possibly be so powerful.
But it gains its real superpower when used as an adverb (didn’t you just love grammar lessons in school?!), meaning “up to now,” or “so far.”
When it’s used like this, it plants us firmly at a point in time, that point being – right now. And in doing so, it puts us on a timeline. It’s this timeline concept that’s so important, because it has the power to suddenly open up the chance of a different outcome in the future, in spite of what may already have happened in the past. We’re no longer stuck in the moment.
Basically, it’s saying – “the opera’s not over till the fat lady sings”.
Give it a go…
Take the phrases of frustration above and add yet to them.
“I’m no good…yet!”
“I can’t do this…yet!”
So, what’s going on? How does this interesting little word work its magic?
How does ‘yet’ work its magic to boost your child’s confidence?
This humble, though incredible, three-letter addition creates an entire paradigm shift in a child’s thought pattern.
I love this phrase! It’s the idea of a major change in our underlying assumptions, so cosmic, it lets us view things from a completely new world.
In this instance it brings our child’s thinking from defeatist to go-getter and opens up a world of possibilities for them. It’s like going from communication by smoke signals to using smartphones or believing the world is flat with an upturned rim to understanding it is actually round! It really is that big a shift.
That’s because it stops them from focusing on the stark question of whether they have failed or succeeded. It brings them to an understanding of being on a journey of learning.
This mindset helps them realize that while they haven’t arrived yet, they have potential to, if they keep trying. This gives them hope and often with it, motivation, and perseverance. It supercharges their confidence.
When we take “I can’t do it,” to the new level of – “I can’t do it yet,” we empower our children to live into becoming achievers, who are more likely to reach their fullest potential. They’re no longer trapped – they’ve got somewhere to move.
That’s because with this one word, whether we are conscious of it or not, we are letting go of a fixed mindset and embracing a growth mindset.
So, what is the growth mindset?
It was American psychologist, Professor Carol Dweck, who first highlighted the idea of the growth mindset.
In essence, she found that some people believe talents and intelligence are innate and fixed for life, while others believe that with effort and practice these things can be developed.
In her book, Mindset – Changing The Way You think To Fulfil Your Potential, Dr Dweck explains that with fixed mindset thinking, people believe they are born with a certain amount of intelligence or certain skills and traits which are fixed and cannot be changed. This mindset is self-limiting for it stops people from believing in themselves or working to succeed.
The growth mindset, on the other hand, puts forward the idea that all of our skills, talents, potential and intellect can be improved if we put in hard work, effort and practice.
How does the power of ‘yet’ boost your child’s confidence?
Using the ‘yet’ word has amazing potential in helping children reach success. It’s is also incredibly powerful for protecting their mental health and well-being. By re-framing their experiences, it shields them from feeling overwhelmed by stress and boosts their self-esteem and confidence. Here’s four ways it does this –
1 Yet releases children from the tyranny of perfectionism – to boost your child’s confidence
Perfectionism puts huge pressure and self-criticism on children. It creates dissatisfaction and a fear of failure, making it difficult for them to take pride in their efforts.
But with ‘yet’, children learn it’s okay if they don’t always get things perfect, because they are on a journey and still improving. And if they can can move on to view mistakes as an opportunity to learn, this further releases them from the tyranny of perfectionism.
With this mindset, they no longer fear making mistakes or feel ashamed. Instead, they learn from failures, gaining courage to move from their comfort zone and take on new challenges. Their creativity is no longer hampered by a fear of failure or things turning out differently from the way they had planned, leading to soaring confidence.
Just think – if it hadn’t been for a careless lab technician, who went off on holiday without cleaning his Petri dishes – we might not have penicillin today! (Not that I’m advocating this as a reason to stop doing housework – although that would be nice!)
2 Yet releases children from the negative effects of social comparison – to boost your child’s confidence
Social comparison is a natural process we all engage in to evaluate ourselves in relation to others. Often, children will assess their own abilities, attributes, and achievements by comparing themselves with their peers.
While this can provide valuable insights and motivation, more often than not, it can have negative effects on a child’s well-being. (Find out how to help kids overcome the toxic side of social comparison here.)
Constantly comparing themselves to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low self-worth, and even anxiety or depression. It may lead to them focusing only on their shortcomings and feeling discouraged by the accomplishments of their peers.
With the power of “yet,” children learn to judge their self worth, not in comparison to others, but rather on their own unique personal progress. This empowers them to chart their own course towards success.
Using a yet mindset and emphasizing individual progress rather than direct competition can help children focus on their personal development. Teaching them to appreciate and celebrate their own achievements, while also recognizing and respecting the accomplishments of others, can create a positive atmosphere and strengthen social skills.
3 Yet allows self-esteem to flourish
When children have low self-esteem, they often struggle with a negative self-image and a lack of confidence in their abilities. This can impact on many areas of their life such as friendships, academic performance, and emotional resilience. So, it’s crucial to provide support, encouragement, and opportunities to help build their self-esteem.
Yet has the power to unlock them from the prison of low self-esteem caused because they feel stupid and defeated. That’s because it offers the understanding that with hard work and dedication you can move on and succeed. They no longer celebrate only good outcomes, but rather can take pride their progress and in the amount effort they have put in.
By celebrating their efforts, we can help children develop a healthy sense of self-worth and empower them to navigate life with greater confidence and resilience.
Promoting self-acceptance and emphasizing that each child has unique strengths and talents can help mitigate discouragement and low self-esteem. Encouraging children to define their own success based on personal growth, effort, and perseverance rather than solely on external comparisons can cultivate a more confident mindset and self-belief, which empowers them to reach their full potential.
4 Yet helps develop resilience, to boost your child’s confidence
Resilience gifts children the ability to navigate challenges with strength. They bounce back from adversity, learning and thriving despite obstacles. “Yet” cultivates patience and resilience, reminding them that learning new things takes time and effort, which develops adaptability and perseverance.
By understanding that their current skills don’t limit their future, children embrace hope and optimism, shielding against stress. They view setbacks as temporary challenges, and develop a positive outlook, problem-solving skills, motivation, perseverance and of course – resilience. These are a playground of qualities that will boost your child’s confidence.
Putting yet into practice
So, start to re-frame your child’s thinking by using ‘yet’.
Whenever you catch your children saying things like I can’t do it, let them hear you repeating the phrase, tagging ‘yet’ on. It not only helps them to develop the growth mindset and recognize that their current abilities don’t define what can be in their future, but will hopefully also start to become part of the conversation they have with themselves in their head.
It’s estimated we all have around 70,000 inner dialogues with ourselves each day, and scarily, the vast majority of these are negative. Psychologists and therapists alike are increasingly becoming aware of how important positive self-talk is for our confidence, success and well-being.
So, this is a great way to start sowing the seeds of positive self-talk in our children’s heads.
Closing thoughts on how ‘yet’ can boost your child’s confidence
We’ve learned how the “yet” word encourages children to persevere, embrace patience, and believe in their ability to develop and improve over time. It also promotes good mental health by equipping them with a positive outlook and sense of hope.
It allows children to max out their confidence and reach their fullest potential in these ways:
- 1 Yet releases children from the tyranny of perfectionism
- 2 Yet releases children from the negative effects of social comparison
- 3 Yet allows self-esteem to flourish
- 4 Yet helps children develop resilience
The growth mindset is something we can start to help our children understand, by using the word yet at those times when they feel defeated. There literally couldn’t be a simpler way to boost your child’s confidence.
So, the question is – have you started using it “yet”?
