Want to help your child build confidence, resilience, and self-belief? The growth mindset for kids is a powerful way to do it. Here are 5 simple ways to nurture this mindset and support their mental wellbeing.
In the Victorian era, people loved flea circuses. (They clearly didn’t have Netflix!)
These tiny performers would carry out amazing tricks. But even though fleas can jump up to 100 times their height they never escaped their boxes.
Why? It was because during training, a lid was placed on top. After bumping their heads a few times, the fleas learned to jump lower to avoid nasty headaches. Then, when the lid was later removed, they never jumped high again.
They had become conditioned – a behaviour known as learned helplessness.
It was bad news for the fleas, but also a powerful reminder for us. You see sometimes, our children have invisible “lids” too — limits shaped by how they see themselves and what they believe they can achieve.
And often, that “lid” comes down to one thing: mindset.
As a play therapist I’m always on the lookout for simple, playful ways to help kids build confidence from the inside out. I’ve discovered that helping them to have the right mindset is so powerful. So, in this post, we’ll explore how you can help your child develop thought patterns that break through their invisible limits — and thrive.
A lot of what we know about mindsets today, came through a group of preschoolers. Here’s what happened…
The Preschool Experiment: Carol Dweck’s Mindset Theory
Back in the 1980s, a fascinating experiment was carried out with a group of preschoolers.
American psychologist, Carol Dweck, gave these children puzzles that were deliberately a little too hard. She did this (not because she enjoyed torturing toddlers!) but because she wanted to see how they would respond. She was curious about why some people succeed when things get tough, while others don’t.
What she discovered was remarkable.
The children all fell into two clear groups. One group saw the challenge as a test of their intelligence — and when they couldn’t solve it, they felt like failures and were very upset.
The other group stayed curious. They kept trying, seeing the tricky puzzle as a chance to learn rather than proof they weren’t smart enough. For them it was fun.
She went on to label these two patterns of thinking – the fixed mindset and the growth mindset.
(These insights still shape classroom and parenting approaches all over the world today. You can explore more about Dweck’s research at Mindset Works, the official site inspired by her findings.)
But here’s the thing – whether we realise it or not, we all lean toward one or other of these mindsets.
Growth vs Fixed Mindset for Kids
Whichever mindset we — or our children — adopt, shapes how we approach challenges, learning, and even our sense of self-worth throughout life.
- With a fixed mindset, we believe our intelligence or talents are set in stone — that we’re either good at something or we’re not and this can’t be changed.
- With a growth mindset, we understand that our skills can be developed through effort, practice, and patience.
Children with a fixed mindset might say, “I’m just not good at this,” and give up. This mindset is self-limiting for it stops them from believing in themselves or working to succeed.
But those with a growth mindset say, “I can’t do this yet.” They don’t crumble when things get hard — they lean in with curiosity. They see challenges as a chance to grow, not a sign of failure.
Growth Mindset Guide: What You’ll Find in This Post
So, now you understand why mindset matters, here’s a handy guide to help you jump to the sections that matter most.
Why a Growth Mindset Helps Build Confidence and Resilience in Kids
The growth mindset is powerful, because it puts us back in the driver’s seat of our own life. It gives us a sense of control – we’re no longer at the mercy of our genes, past test scores, school reports, or what others have said about us.
It helps children to realize that failing doesn’t mean they are a failure — it simply means they’re still learning.
And it’s like sunshine for a child’s confidence. It helps them bounce back from challenges, build resilience, and develop a deep sense of self-belief. It’s not just good for learning — it’s good for their mental health.
Perhaps as you’re reading this, you’re realizing that you — or your child — might lean a little more towards a fixed mindset. The good news is mindsets aren’t permanent – they can change. With a little awareness and practice, we can all learn to think in more flexible, resilient ways — and it starts with us.
Five Ways to Develop a Growth Mindset in Your Child
So, how do we help our children build this kind of thinking? Here are five simple, science-backed ways to nurture a growth mindset.
1. Share Inspiring Stories
Children absorb lessons through stories far more effectively than through direct advice. When we say things like “Don’t give up,” there’s a part of our logical brain that fights this. (For some reason our brain is hardwired to resist good advice!) But, when we tell them a story, it slips past that resistance and lands in the heart.
Think of the tale of Robert the Bruce and the spider — defeated in battle and ready to quit, he watched a small spider trying over and over to spin its web until it finally succeeded. Inspired, he returned to battle and won.
Stories like that, help children internalize values like persistence, patience, and resilience. They come to understand that mistakes and setbacks are part of the journey. They plant powerful seeds.
💛 Try this: Share short bedtime stories, family anecdotes, or moments from your own life where you kept trying until something finally worked.
2. Use the Power of Yet
Add this little word to your child’s self-doubt. When a child says, “I can’t do it,” gently add “yet.”
“I can’t do this.” → “I can’t do this yet.”
This tiny word makes a big difference – it transforms a dead end into a doorway. It helps children understand that learning is a process — and that they have the potential to get there with effort and time. It’s a game-changer that helps kids bounce back stronger, believe in themselves, and tackle challenges with a can-do attitude.
(Want to explore more about this idea? You might love my post on The Power of Yet — full of playful, practical ways to help kids re-frame challenges with confidence.)
💛 Try this: Write “The Power of Yet” on a sticky note or poster and keep it somewhere visible as a daily reminder.
3. Praise the Process, Not the Person
Praise is wonderful — but how we praise matters.
It’s tempting to tell kids, “You’re so smart.” But when we do this, we accidentally reinforce a fixed mindset. It can make them afraid to try harder things, in case they stop being “smart.”
Instead, praise their effort and progress rather than ability or outcomes. This builds confidence and resilience that lasts. Try words like:
“You worked really hard on that.”
“I love how you kept going, even when it got tricky.”
This kind of praise teaches children that success comes from effort, not from being naturally smart.
💛 Try this: When your child shows you something they’ve done, start your praise with “I noticed…” — it helps them feel seen and valued for their effort.
4. Embrace Mistakes as Learning Opportunities
Mistakes can feel uncomfortable. They make us feel embarrassed and discouraged, so it’s natural we want to avoid them.
But they’re also where the growth happens. Helping children see mistakes as part of learning builds courage, curiosity and the freedom to explore, create and investigate.
Encourage small, safe risks: things that challenge their physical and mental abilities like trying a new skill, solving problems in their own way. Let them take decisions from time to time and take on age-appropriate responsibilities.
And when things don’t go as planned, model calm curiosity:
“That didn’t work out. What could we try differently next time?”
This shows children that failure isn’t final. It’s just feedback. And mistakes are stepping stones to success.
💛 Try this: Share your own “mistake moments” and what you learned from them. It normalises the learning process and removes the fear of getting things wrong.
💛 Extra fun for kids: If you’d like a simple way to reinforce these ideas at home, you might love my Growth Mindset Coloring Bundle on Etsy.
It helps children see the difference between a fixed and growth mindset and explore themes like perseverance, resilience, the power of “yet,” and how mistakes help us learn. Great for classrooms, counselling sessions, or quiet time at home.
5. Model It Yourself
Children learn far more from what we do than what we say.
Let them see you handling challenges, making mistakes, and keeping a sense of humour about it. When you say, “I’m still figuring this out,” or “That didn’t work, but I’ll try again,” you show them exactly what a growth mindset looks like in action.
💛 Try this: Choose one small personal challenge this month — something you’ve wanted to learn or improve — and talk your child through your progress along the way.
(Looking for more ways to support your child’s emotional wellbeing? Here are my 21 play therapy techniques parents can use at home.)
Final Thoughts On The Growth Mindset For Kids
When we encourage a growth mindset in our children, we’re not just teaching them how to succeed — we’re teaching them how to thrive.
Because in the end, the greatest gift we can give our children isn’t protection from failure — it’s the courage to keep trying. It’s about believing, ‘I can learn. I can grow. I can try again.’
You might want to explore other fun ways to help boost kids self-confidence, right here on the blog:
- Positive Affirmations for Kids – Explore simple, everyday practices, that plant little seeds of positivity in your child’s mind today – and grow into a lifelong mindset of self-belief.
- Empowering Kids Through Positive Self-Talk – Discover how your child’s inner dialogue shapes their confidence, and explore practical ways to develop encouraging self-talk.
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