Reach your child’s subconscious through their art! Use these 7 insightful questions to connect with their inner world and understand what makes them tick.
Kids are difficult to fathom, aren’t they?
They have the quirkiest moods, that come and go faster than clouds on a blustery day. They huff suddenly and you’ll never know why. They develop strange habits out of nowhere. And they have certain personality traits, that definitely don’t come from your side of the family!
Sometimes their thought patterns are a cause for concern. They harbor negative things – such as beliefs that they’re worthless or ugly. Or maybe it’s their behavior that upsets you – impulsive actions that makes your heart skip a beat, or meltdowns. Or maybe they have problems making friends or seem to self-sabotage their best efforts.
Through all these sort of issues, we’re left scratching our heads, wondering what’s going on in those little brains of theirs.
And somehow asking them, doesn’t get us very far. When we question what’s wrong, they can’t seem to give an answer. When we try to have a conversation or ask why they did what they did, they have no explanation.
It’s irritating! And it feels like they’re being deliberately obstinate on purpose! But actually, for once, they really aren’t, and here’s why…
The part of the mind that works without us knowing: the subconscious
The reason they can’t give you an answer, is because much of our behavior is influenced by underlying thoughts. Neuroscience shows, our actions, reactions, decisions and moods are quite literally guided by thinking that isn’t readily apparent to us. It comes from a deeper part of the mind that works without us knowing.
That’s terrifying! It’s like letting random strangers borrow your car! And while some of them might be the most civil and courteous drivers around, others could be the criminals from Grand Theft Auto and about to do your vehicle a lot of damage.
If only there was some way of vetting these randomers before letting them in. If only we could take a while to get to get to know them, before deciding whether to hand the keys over.
Well, it turns out you can. You see, although these hidden mental contents are hanging out like smokers behind the bicycle shed of our subconscious mind, it is possible to reach them.
In fact, accessing the subconscious mind (either your own or your child’s) is a lot simpler than you might imagine. But why would you even want to?
Well, the process is enlightening and priceless. Here’s why…
What is the value of being able to reach your child’s subconscious?
Our subconscious mind is mischievous. It takes decisions without asking us first, and rather troublingly, it can work either for us or against us.
There is some good news though – it’s not fixed, so it can be reprogrammed. That means, if it is causing problems such as low self-esteem, self-sabotage, abnormal behavior or problematic social skills, it can be rewired.
Surely that in itself is a very powerful argument for wanting to reach your child’s subconscious and understand it.
Through taking time with our children to tap into their great subconscious, we gain valuable insights into their inner world. This opens the door to let us find answers to some of the mysteries surrounding their moods and behavior. It also helps them become more self-aware.
And self-awareness is crucial. You see, we have no way of addressing concerning behavior or moods, unless we are aware of them. We can’t fix problems if we don’t know they exist. These issues, therefore, need to be brought from our subconscious mind into our conscious awareness, before they can be modified.
So, when you reach your child’s subconscious and learn what lies there, you can help to shape their overall emotional and psychological health in profound ways. You can work to positively influence any problematic deep-seated beliefs, emotions, or behavior. And you can find strategies to replace maladaptive values, with more positive ones.
Understanding how they tick, is vital for happy regulated children.
So, let’s explore the steps that can help you reach your child’s subconscious.
How to reach your child’s subconscious mind
Through drawing and art, you can have a lot of fun with children. But by asking a few appropriate questions you can also discover their mental processes and reach your child’s subconscious.
Art is a powerful medium that transcends the language barriers of the subconscious mind and opens its doors.
Whether they are an aspiring Picasso or simply enjoy doodling on scraps of paper, here is an art activity and seven questions to ask, that can help you reach your child’s subconscious through art.
How to reach your child’s subconscious: the art activity
To begin this activity, help your child to relax by encouraging them to take a few deep breaths.
Then invite them to create a picture. Tell them you would like them to make a picture of their own world or space. Explain it can be anywhere they want – it can be inside or outside, somewhere they’ve been before or somewhere they’ve made up, somewhere exotic and foreign or somewhere they are familiar with. It can be a place they like or a place they don’t like.
It can have people – perhaps family members or friends, or maybe individuals they’ve never met before or make-believe fantasy characters. Or maybe they’d rather create a place where they can be alone. Their world can be from a dream or a memory and it can be filled with absolutely anything they want. It can have animals – pets or wild creatures, or toys.
Let them know they can create their art work in any way they choose and with whatever colors they want. But the important thing to remind them is, that it’s their very own space or world.
Then give them a selection of art materials and allow them to work on this for about 10 minutes. Don’t rush the child and encourage them to work in silence (if at all possible!)
Then when they are finished, use these 7 questions to help uncover their inner mental processes and reach your child’s subconscious.
How to reach your child’s subconscious: the 7 questions to ask
1 Can you tell me a little bit about your picture.
Begin by asking a few questions such as ‘what’s happening in your picture’ or ‘if you could give your picture a title what would it be?’
These initial questions may not give a great depth of insight into the subconscious to begin with. But they are good for laying the ground work of understanding what the child’s drawing is about and what certain things are.
Once you’ve gained a feel for the child’s artwork, move onto the next question.
2 Choose something in your picture you would like to pretend to be.
At this point invite the child to choose something in their picture they would like to pretend to be. They may choose to be a character, an object or any sort of element from within their drawing.
This is a key step, because neuroscience shows we are drawn to choose things from our subconscious. Symbols often serve as a bridge between the conscious and subconscious mind.
So, there will be a strong reason your child chooses this symbol.
Once the child has chosen their symbol move onto the next question.
3 Can you tell me what it’s like to be this character or thing?
Next, encourage the child to talk about what it’s like to be the thing they have chosen. You might ask questions such as how they look, what they are doing in the picture, what life is like for them and what their connection is to other elements in the picture.
This sparks children’s imagination, but how they do things, move around, and feel in this imaginary world will be the same as their life processes.
Asking how they look can bring insight around their self image. Some children will choose to be bright and colorful things like butterflies, while others may choose things such as messy scribbles or dull characters.
Asking what it’s like to live there helps understand how they feel about their environment and life- are things difficult at the moment or are they good. And asking how they relate to other elements can give us insight into how they connect with family or peers.
It’s worth noting too, that sometimes children will draw pictures not of how they feel their life is at the moment, but how they would love their ideal life to be. Often, if a child can be encouraged to talk about the positive world they have created, it opens the door to also allow them to express their opposite feelings and disappointments.
4 How does this character or thing feel about their life in the picture?
Then go on to ask how their chosen symbol feels about their life in the picture.
This is a truly fascinating step. That’s because the metaphor that’s been created, now creates a safe enough distance to allow the child to explore feelings and situations that would otherwise be too painful or difficult to address directly.
For instance, children find they can easily talk about a ladybug who has no friends and project their own feelings of loneliness onto the bug, than talk about how they themselves might be experiencing problems making friends.
This can be heartbreaking, as the safety of the symbol lets them open up to explore some of their deepest hurts and struggles. You may find a variety of answers here, some children will be sad or lonely, but hopefully you will find a child who is happy and thriving.
Next, take this metaphor a step further and ask…
5 Do you ever feel the way this character/thing feels?
If a child has talked about how they feel as their chosen symbol, it’s now good to develop this by asking a few further questions. Ask them, “is this how you yourself feel in real life?” Or, “is this what life feels like for you at the moment?” Children will find it easier to open up and release at this point.
This is a really important step, as it pulls the issues the child is struggling with from their subconscious into their conscious mind. This is what allows them to become self aware and is vital in developing a sense of agency in them.
They now will begin to understand ways they can have control over their situation and take responsibility for how they shape their life.
6 Can you give me a few words to write on your drawing that sum it all up?
Generally, asking a child for a statement like this will give an indication of where they are in their lives, right now.
Confining the kids to a few sentences, forces them focus on the overarching issues in their mind and loose the trivial. Opening them up to this will give them a greater sense of awareness of where they are right now in their lives.
7 Is there anything else you’d like to add in your art?
Finally, give your child the opportunity to express any additional thoughts or ideas they may have regarding their artistic process. This open-ended question encourages creativity and empowers your child to further explore their subconscious through art.
Closing thoughts on how to reach your child’s subconscious through art
Using art to reach your child’s subconscious isn’t just about figuring out their inner world, but is also about boosting their emotional and mental well-being.
By asking these seven questions, you can uncover deep insights into what they’re thinking and feeling, which helps you connect with them on a whole new level and harness the power of their subconscious to set them up for life.
I hope this activity will give you a glimpse into your child’s inner world, and bring much benefit and insight. And let me know how you get on – I’d love to hear.
