Young girl blowing confetti used in blog post Best Breathing Strategies for Kids

How to Calm Stress: Best Breathing Strategies For Kids

Discover the power of intentional breathing to reduce anxiety and stress. Learn fun and effective breathing strategies for kids, from playful exercises to Navy SEAL strategies

Your breath – it’s absolutely amazing!

It’s something we take so much for granted, but when you stop and really think about it – it’s incredible!

Apart from the fact it keeps us alive (and that’s pretty miraculous!), it’s also one of the few bodily functions that happens both consciously and unconsciously!

That means even when you’re not paying attention to it, your body keeps on breathing for you. Controlled by the automatic nervous system, it literally keeps plugging away, along with other things like heart beat and digestion. However, if we take time to become consciously aware of these functions we have no power to change them – with the exception of breathing! Unlike these other automatic functions, if we do take time to become aware of our breathing, we can jump in and grab the controls. For instance, we can change its patterns – we can hold our breath or take long, deep intentional breaths.

Now I’m telling you this, by way of much more than just a fun fact. You see, the ability to control our breathing, gives us way more power than simply, being able to dive under water or blow up balloons. It actually has a lot to do with how we feel, so much so, controlling it has the power to alter our moods.

The incredible power of breathing strategies to help kids reduce anxiety

Research shows it actually holds a key to our emotions and literally gives us the power to change them. That’s because studies have found there’s a link between how we breathe, and how we think and feel. This means it’s within our power to turn the volume down on anxiety and regain control when overwhelmed.

This is great news, not only for us as adults, but also for our children. In today’s fast-paced world, anxiety among young people is prevalent. Amidst this chaos, however, this research indicates there’s a simple yet powerful tool that can help ease anxiety: breathing strategies for kids.

Now if you’re not so sure about this – that’s okay – I totally get you! I was once in that camp too. I thought it was all just a bit too fluffy to be effective. But then I read about the US Navy SEALs who work in some of the most dangerous and stressful conditions imaginable. They face things like hostage situations and terrorist threats. And what’s one of their key tools to enable them to cope with the crippling anxiety, to get the job done? Yip – you’ve guessed it! They are trained in breathing strategies. I stood corrected!

That made me sit up and pay attention. I started to investigate how they really work and what makes them so effective. And the things I discovered were interesting.

So, here goes – let’s explore why it works. Then once you’re convinced, I’ll show you some of the best breathing strategies for kids, that I love to teach in the play therapy room.

To begin with, though, let’s look at how our breathing pattern can help us survive in a crisis…

Why we can’t think straight in a crisis

When we feel threatened or are in a situation that upsets or angers us, our fight or flight system is triggered. This releases Adrenaline and prepares our body for a strenuous response.

So far, so good – but here’s where it all goes wrong! In the midst of this incredible alarm system (for whatever strange reason) mother-nature thought it would be a great idea to take our prefrontal cortex off-line at this point too.

Now that’s extremely bad news, especially in a crisis, because that’s the part of your brain that’s responsible for your logical thinking. That means right at the time you need it the most- it’s difficult to think straight. You’ll know exactly what I mean, if you’ve ever had to dial emergency services in a crisis or tried to reason with a distressed child.

Fear, shock, stress, anger, frustration, worry – all those strong emotions, have the power to impair our thinking and overwhelm us. We’ll not be able to think of the best course of action to take to help us survive. So how do we get things back under control again?

Well, believe it or not, talking to yourself won’t help- it’s difficult to talk yourself back to calm. That’s because these strong emotions don’t seem to communicate verbally. They don’t even appear to accept the offerings of logical reasoning from those around us (don’t tell the very large guy he’s an idiot!)

But thankfully, there is another communication system they do understand – breathing.

The incredible power of breathing strategies to quell strong emotions

You see, stress alters your breathing, but incredibly, the system is bidirectional. That means breathing can also alter your stress. So, quite literally, by consciously changing our breathing pattern, we can change how we feel from stressed to calmer.

It’s incredible, but research shows that different emotions are connected to different breathing patterns. When stressed, our breathing will be irregular, quick and shallow, while calmness sends us strong, slow breaths. So, if we deliberately follow the pattern of a connected emotion, we start to experience the feelings of that emotion. By using calm breathing when stressed, this helps us regulate. And a calmer state enables us to think more rationally again and avoid becoming totally overwhelmed by our emotions.

I’ve seen how breathing strategies for kids work effectively like this, when used with a child who was hyperventilating after a nasty fall and another who was intensely upset by an argument. And we’ll look at some of these exact breathing strategies for kids shortly.

But first let’s consider how breathing can ease general anxiety. We’ve seen how controlling our breathing in the moment of a crisis is powerful. But it turns out it is also great for us when there’s no immediate crisis, but yet somehow the effects of general, long-term anxiety still plague us. Here’s why…

The incredible power of breathing strategies to reduce anxiety

You see, at any given time, our bodies are in one of two systems.

The fight or flight system (the sympathetic system) dominates when we’re threatened or under stress. It works to prepare us for a strenuous response. Meanwhile the rest and digest system (parasympathetic system), appears when we’re chillin’ and life feels good. It works to store energy and let our digestive system process the nice things we’ve been eating.

Sometimes though, even when there is no immediate threat and we’re in a peaceful zone, our body can still be tapping into the fight or flight system, which causes that nagging, anxious feeling. It can interfere with our ability to work, cause a racing heart, stomach upsets, restlessness and a general feeling of tension and uneasiness.

But research shows breathing exercises can alleviate this type of anxiety too, as they are good for both immediate and long-term stress reduction.

That’s because breathing patterns actually change our physiology. When we inhale our heart rate speeds up, and when we exhale it slows down. And of course, when it slows we feel relaxed and calmer. So the secret to lowering stress levels is to using breathing techniques where we exhale for longer than we inhale. For example, breathing in for a count of 4 and out for 8.

As well as this, when we use strong, slow breaths, it brings additional oxygen into our bloodstream, which signals our body’s parasympathetic to tell it to calm down.

And as a bonus, when we’re purely focused on our breath, it calms the incessant chatter going on in our mind to eliminate stress and negative thinking. That’s because we shift focus from our thoughts and emotions.

Practicing breathing strategies for kids

Practicing breathing strategies for kids every day, not only lowers their stress but it also lets you have a few techniques up your sleeve, should they come up against a crisis. Breathing strategies for kids offer a tangible way for them to regain control over their emotions and physiological responses.

There’s many breathing techniques taught for adults, but doing things such as counting as you breathe may not be the most fun thing in the world for kids. So here’s some of the breathing strategies I use, that tap into kids’ imaginations and help them find breathing techniques fun.

Breathing strategies for kids: Getting started

If children are simply doing shallow, chest breaths, it won’t be as effective. So some of these beginner techniques help them learn to recognize the deep belly breaths we’re going for – where their tummy expands as they breathe in, and shrinks as they breathe out. So practice some of these first…

Infographic describing Balloon Breaths for Kids as one of the Best Breathing Strategies for Kids to Calm Stress

Balloon Breaths: Encourage your child to imagine their belly as a balloon. With each inhale, they should fill the “balloon” by breathing in deeply through their nose, allowing their belly to rise. Then, slowly exhale through their mouth, imagining the balloon deflating. This rhythmic breathing helps calm the nervous system.


Infographic describing Teddy Bear Breathing for Kids as one of the Best Breathing Strategies for Kids to Calm Stress

Teddy bear breathing: invite your child to lie down and place their favorite teddy bear or soft toy on their tummy. As they breathe in and out, they will see the toy rise and fall. This helps them to recognize the connection between breath and body.


Animal Breathing: Tap into your child’s imagination by thinking about animal-themed breathing patterns. For example, they can mimic the slow, steady breaths of a sleeping bear (deep inhales and exhales) or the quick, shallow breaths of a tiny mouse who is being chased (short, rapid breaths). This playful approach helps children recognize different breathing patterns.


Draw your breath: This can be a fun activity for children. Ask them to draw their breath on a piece of paper. Start by helping them to notice and become aware of their breathing. Then encourage them to draw a representation of this on paper. Perhaps they may want to draw a wiggly line. Encourage them to change their breathing pattern and notice how this changes what they are putting on the page.


Using imagination

Infographic describing Elephant Breathing for Kids as one of the Best Breathing Strategies for Kids to Calm Stress

Elephant breathing: Encourage children to hold their arms straight out in front of them and clasp their hands together. This is going to be their elephant trunk. Then as they raise their trunk up in the air, they breathe in, and as they lower their trunk all the way down to their toes, they breathe out. Do this several times and then finish with the trunk above their head, so they can shake their trunk around with a shower of water. I love how this exercise incorporates the use of movement.


Infographic describing Hot Chocolate Breathing for Kids as one of the Best Breathing Strategies for Kids to Calm Stress

Hot chocolate breathing: This one is lovely for winter. I always check first if my children like hot chocolate, because, I guess if you don’t this exercise may not be so much fun. Start by inviting the child to cup their hands together and imagine they’re holding a lovely big mug of hot chocolate. Then take a long, deep breath in through your nose and smell the sweet chocolate for a 3 count and hold for 3. Then blow gently out through your lips and cool it down blow for 6. The lengthened exhale should help children feel calmer. Do this several times and feel your self relax.


Infographic describing Butterfly Breathing for Kids as one of the Best Breathing Strategies for Kids to Calm Stress

Butterfly breathing: Invite your child to stand with their feet slightly apart and relax their hands by their sides. Then like the movement of beautiful butterfly wings, encourage them to take a deep breath in, slowly, for a count of 3, as they raise their arms up. And breathe out, counting backwards from 3, as they raise them down. Encourage them to link the movement of their arms to their breath. Repeat this several times.


Reluctant recruits

I know – I get it – sometimes kids don’t want to do breathing exercises. That’s okay – I was pretty skeptical myself at the outset. But here’s the actual Navy SEALs breathing technique that changed my thinking, and perhaps it will change your kids thinking too, especially if they’re adventurers or Tom boys.

Infographic describing Navy SEALs Box Breathing technique for kids as as one of the Best Breathing Strategies for Kids to Calm Stress

Navy SEALs Box Breathing: Encourage your child to picture a square box, then they simply inhale for 4 counts while tracing up one side of the square, hold their breath for 4 while tracing across the top side, exhale for 4 while tracing down the opposite side, and hold it again for 4 while completing along the bottom of the square. Repeat this pattern several times.


Using props for fun

Bubble Breaths: Who doesn’t love blowing bubbles? This fun activity doubles as a breathing exercise. Have your child take a deep breath in and then blow out slowly to create bubbles. Encourage them to focus on the sensation of the breath and the movement of the bubbles, which can distract from anxious thoughts.


Infographic describing High Five Breathing as one of the Best Breathing Strategies for Kids to Calm Stress

High five breathing: Have your child hold their hand out in front of them as if about to do a high five. (Or if they prefer they can just imagine their hand in their mind). Then breath in as they trace up their thumb, pause at the top, and breathe out as they trace down the other side, and pause there. Repeat this for fingers as well. This is a great visual aid for encouraging breathing.


Incorporating Breathing Strategies for kids into Daily Routine

Consistency is key when it comes to practicing breathing strategies for kids. Encourage your child to integrate these exercises into their daily routine, especially during times of stress or before potentially anxiety-inducing situations like tests or social events. Consider setting aside a few minutes each day for mindfulness activities that include breathing exercises.

You might also want to check out some of the other techniques explored in this blog, to help children manage anxiety. Learn How to Externalize Anxiety with a fun art activity – this psychotherapy technique, helps children better understand the cause of their worry and how they can deal with it. Interoception explores this hidden sense which helps kids better understand anxiety and how it shows up in your body. And you can discover how the neuroscience-backed benefits of the worry box technique, empower kids to manage anxiety and build resilience.

Closing Thoughts on Breathing Strategies for Kids

The power of our breath is truly remarkable. It’s a vital function that sustains our life but it’s also integrally linked to our mental state. That means you hold it in your power to control your emotions, reduce anxiety and regulate your behavior. Breathing lets your brain know your in charge.

By harnessing the power of intentional breathing, we can transform our mental state, navigate crises more effectively, and promote long-term well-being. These are great reasons to embrace some of these playful and fun breathing strategies for kids. They will be better equipped to face life’s storms.

Take a moment to appreciate the incredible power of your breath, and explore the myriad ways it can enhance not only your life, but the lives of your kids.

So, take a deep breath together and embrace the calm within.

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